Tossed Aside
by childofh4des
Summary: This is another story about Leo(I am not obsessed with Leo Valdez angst). The secrets he hides from his friends and how they find out about them. I hope you like it! Please review! Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, I started writing this story a few weeks ago and I decided to put it on here for you guys to decide if it's good or not. I hope you like it! Please review, I appreciate the feedback.**

 **Disclaimer-I don't own the Percy Jackson series or the characters, unfortunately.**

 **Chapter 1**

The cold seeped into my clothes and I pulled my jacket tighter around me. Bunker nine in all of its glory seemed dull through my eyes. The cold, nothingness starting to seep into my brain. I tried to block out the thoughts.

 _ **you killed your own mother**_

The ever present voice seemingly echoed through the room and I shivered.

 _ **how could you forget today, you killed your own mother on this day, 7 years ago, and you almost forgot**_

I cried harder, I'm no good, I killed my own mother. Why am I even here? The voice protested louder as if hearing my thoughts.

 _ **Exactly Leo, why are you even here? You. Are. Nothing.**_

You. Are. Nothing. I am nothing. The words echoed through my head and I felt the blackness start to seep in. Too late I realized my mistake and the flashback started.

 _ **My room was cold and dreary. Only a few things scattered throughout the room. Very...temporary. From the protection of my blankets I lit a small fire on my fingertips. The flames dancing through the air. Mesmerized I watched them not hearing the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. My stepfather flung open the door and I put out the flame just in time for him to see. I watched as his face contorted in rage.**_

 _ **"YOU! Fire in my house...is not allowed." He quickly crossed the length of the room and hit me with the back of his hand."**_

 _ **"LEO," he yelled as I kept trying to back away from his blows.**_

" _ **I DON'T KNOW WHY I TOOK A NOBODY LIKE YOU INTO MY HOUSE!"**_

 _ **"LEO."**_

 _ **"LEO!"**_

 _ **"Leo, wake up!"**_

I woke up gasping. I sprung to my feet feeling dizzy.

A pair of hands pushed me gently back onto the bed. I looked around realizing I wasn't in my cabin anymore but in the infirmary. My siblings were standing near my bed along with the seven plus Will and Nico. All of them looked worried.

"Uh, hey guys." I put on the best grin I could muster. Which was pretty weak. They just stared at me.

"I would love to stay and be a part of this party but I need to go take care of Festus so…"

"You're not going anywhere." Will said. "You're burning hot and your heart beat is dangerously fast."

"And we need to know what just happened." Piper added in.

"Look guys that was nothing. I…

"Mmhmm, that was not nothing." Annabeth said. "I don't believe you. Sure we all get nightmares but that didn't seem like a normal nightmare. That seemed more like a flashback." I gulped.

"Guys...I, uh." So much for quick comeback Leo. I can't tell them I still blame myself for my mother's death and I definitely can't tell them about my foster parents. Everything that happened to me was my fault and even the good foster families I had I eventually had to leave. Because I cause trouble wherever I go. I don't deserve their pity.

 **No you don't. You're worthless.**

"Just leave me alone."

 **No, it's your fault I'm here.**

"No it's not my fault."

 **Yes it is**

"No it's not okay, just leave me alone."

 **Fine, but I'll be back**

"Whatever." I sigh I do deserve it and I know it. Cause I have never done anything right in my life.

"LEO!" Jason yells.

"Yes?" I look up and my friends are all looking at me weird. I feel a little uncofortable.

"You were talking to yourself."

"Look what you did."

 **You are the one talking to yourself.**

"Well you started it."

 **Whatever**

I look up to see my friends staring at me again.

"Sorry what were you saying?"

"Leo, we're worried about you." Hazel says. "You keep talking to yourself like you're arguing with someone and it's kind of scary. We just want to help."

"We don't know what's going on and you never tell us anything about yourself. Is everything okay?" Percy adds in.

I let out a fake yawn. "Guys I'm tired can I please just go to sleep?" I don't think they'll fall for it but it's worth a shot.

"Leo, don't change the subject." Annabeth says.

"Guys, can't you just let it go." I plead with them. For a second I think they're actually going to give in.

"No Leo, we're your friends we deserve to know what is wrong with you." I'm about to respond when I feel pain course through my body. I scream, and it fills the air around me.

 **Tell them anything and I will kill you, but technically, you'll be the one killing yourself.**

I cry out as another wave of pain hits me. Then another and another. Then the darkness grips me and I pass out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys, I finished the second chapter. I hope you like it! I won't always update everyday but I'm taking advantage of the three day weekend. Please review! Also, a shout out to Luna Space for being the first person to review this story.**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Leo's Pov**

Ugh. I have a terrible headache and it gets worse as everything comes back to me.

White walls.

Infirmary.

Pity.

Mom's death.

Questions.

Voices.

And pain. Pain beyond anything I have ever known.

I keep my eyes closed because I can still hear voices. At first I think it's That voice then I start to recognize them. Percy, Annabeth, Frank, Hazel, Jason, Piper, Nico, Will, and Chiron. Wait, Chiron. They sound a little ways off so I open my eyes. I'm lying on my right side facing a wall.

I can sense fire nearby, the torches on the wall. I use the fire to listen in on their conversation. Nobody knows I have the power to do this and I'd like to keep it that way.

"...I'm worried about him. I'd noticed he looked a little more tired than usual but I waved it off thinking it was the after effects of his dying and all. I should have tried to help him." Percy tries to make Annabeth feel better by saying, "You can't take all the blame. I'm sure we all noticed something was a bit off. So it's wasn't completely your fault Annabeth."

"Yeah, but I still could have done something Percy." At this Annabeth bursts out crying. I'm surprised. Annabeth Chase is crying about me, Leo Valdez, the lowly mechanic, the seventh wheel. It doesn't make any sense.

Percy tries to calm her down and soon her sobs are decreased to muffled sniffles.

"Guys, what are we going to do? I saw the look in his eyes when he screamed. He looked so...so, broken. I s-swear I will k-kill whoever did that to him. Whoever broke our Leo." Hazel starts to sob. I can't listen to this anymore. I'd rather face them than listen to them talk about me like this. I roll over and immediately they stop talking and rush over to me. I just noticed but my siblings aren't here anymore. At first I feel disappointed but then I realize how much work still needs to be done in rebuilding parts of the camp after the war.

I plaster a grin on my face and prepare to face my death.

* * *

 **Jason's Pov**

"Thank goodness, you're awake!" Piper says as she rushes over to him. I almost don't recognize the Leo lying on the bed. He looks so tired and depressed. The only things that are still the same are the grin on his face and the way he always has to keep his hands moving. Still, I wonder how many times he is actually happy and how many times he pretends to be happy just so he doesn't have to talk about what's bothering him.

While the girls are gushing over him and making sure he's okay Percy, Frank, and I exchange a look. We'll find time to talk to him later. Just us boys.

Percy goes into big brother mode while Frank just hangs out on the side.

"Frank, don't be a stranger, I only bite occasionally." Frank moves in a little closer but doesn't completely join the rest of us.

Eventually we are going to have to ask him what happened but I know we're all dreading it. Seeing him in pain and talking to himself was terrifying. I relive the moment in my head.

* * *

" _ **Guys can't you just let it go." He pleads with us.**_

" _ **No Leo, we're your friends we deserve to know what is wrong with you."**_

 _ **He opened his mouth to reply but then he screamed. I watched as waves of pain coursed through him. He kept screaming while Chiron and Will tried to calm him down but they couldn't because he was on fire so nobody could get near him. He finally passed out and the infirmary was silent. All the other patients ,who weren't unconscious, were staring at him.**_

* * *

I shuddered from the memory. Looking up I found everybody staring at me. Apparently they'd asked me a question and I hadn't answered.

"Um...sorry I wasn't paying attention. What did you say?" I asked sheepishly. Come on Jason get yourself together.

"Obviously, we've been trying to get your attention for the past two minutes. We were wondering how long Will said he would have to stay in the infirmary because we know he told you." Annabeth said.

"Oh, yeah...um. He said about 1-2 days till he can leave the infirmary but then he has to rest in his cabin for another 2-3, speaking of them where are Will and Chiron."

"They went to get more supplies for the infirmary." Frank says. I'm surprised to hear his voice. I forgot he was here.

There's silence for a few minutes then Annabeth turns to Leo. "We know it must be hard for you to talk about but can you please tell us what happened?" Leo looks pained and we shift uncomfortably where we are.

"Guys...I can't, okay. I'm sorry, I just can't." Leo says.

"Why can't you tell us, Leo?" He doesn't answer and just turns away from us. It's quiet till Piper says.

"My gods Leo, how could I forget?!" The rest of us look at her quizzically but her gaze is fixed on Leo. She finally turns to us.

"Hey guys, can I talk to Leo for a second...alone, please." The rest of us hesitate but leave. I send her a questioning look as I leave but she just gives me a sad smile in return.

"I wonder what they are talking about," Hazel says,

"I don't know, it's pretty clear Piper remembered something important. I wonder why she's not telling us." I tell them. I look around at their faces and I realize Nico has come back but Will isn't with him. Usually those two are inseparable.

Everyone turns to look at me but then I realize they are not looking at me but at someone behind me. I turn to find Piper standing behind me. She closes the curtains and turns again to face us.

"Guys, he just needs to be alone for a little while." She starts to walk off. I let the other get ahead of us then turn and ask her what they were talking about. She pauses, then says.

"It's not my place to tell. Leo will talk to you when he's ready but I'm not making any promises." With that she walks off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry I didn't update last week. It took me awhile to write this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer-I don't own anything**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Leo's POV**

"We know it must be hard for you to talk about but can you please tell us what happened?" Annabeth asks me. I pause. I can feel the smile slipping off my face. I look down at my hands as they twist and turn pieces of metal and piece them together. I had had a small sliver of hope that maybe, Just maybe they would leave it be and just let me go on faking that I'm happy. For a second I actually think of telling them. Getting it all off my chest would be a relief, but then I remember the pain I felt before. So. Much. Pain.

I hear the others shuffle awkwardly around me. Finally I look up at them.

"Guys...I can't, okay. I'm sorry, I just can't." My voice is so soft I'm surprised they can even hear it, but Annabeth replies.

"Why can't you tell us, Leo?" Annabeth's voice is so gentle and I'm tempted again to tell them everything but I don't want to feel that pain again. It felt like my heart was literally breaking into pieces and I was being eaten from the inside out. I turn away from them so I won't be tempted to answer them. So I won't give anything away.

It's so quiet. I can feel their worry, and curiosity lurking around my room in the back of the infirmary. Like they're handling a precious piece of glass that could shatter at one wrong word. Then Piper speaks and I almost break at the emotion in her voice.

"My gods Leo, how could I forget?!" And I know she remembers now. At the school, before Jason came. I told her about me mami. How she was so beautiful, and also how she died. She's the only one who knows I blame myself for her death and I was hoping she'd forgotten.

I hear her now as she says, "Hey guys, can I talk to Leo for a second...alone, please." The rest of the seven hesitate but leave the room.

She comes up and sits on the edge of the bed beside me. I'm not looking forward to the next words that are going to come out of her mouth. It's always something like "I'm so sorry you had to go through this alone" or something along the lines of that but she surprises me.

She reaches out her hand and starts to trace circles on my back. My eyes well up with tears because my mom used to do that for me when I was sad or I was sick. Or when the kids at school beat me up because I was so tiny.

I feel the hot tears start to work their way down and drip onto the grey hospital gown and that makes me cry even more. After I cry for a few minutes, Piper pulls away from me so she can see my face. I look down avoiding her eyes because I **never** cry in front of my friends.

"Leo." Her warm hand lifts my chin up so I have nowhere to look but in her eyes. "I'm not going to tell you I know how you are feeling because I don't. I just want you to know you can talk to me. I may not always know exactly how you are feeling but I can listen. Okay?"

"Yes." My voice comes out barely above a whisper.

She looks at me for a second longer then hugs me one more time. "I'm going to leave now because you probably want to be alone, but I'll be back later."

I open my mouth to tell her not to tell anyone about this but then she says, "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone until you tell me I can. I swear it on the styx." I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and send a small grin at her which he responds to with one of her breathtaking smiles. She hugs me one more time then stands up, opens the curtains, and leaves, closing them softly behind her.

* * *

The infirmary is so quiet at night and I wish that Calypso was here. I miss being able to see her everyday but I couldn't tell her no. She needed to get out and see the world and although I offered to go with her she insisted on doing it herself.

I sigh and sit up in my bed. The bed sheets crinkle loudly under me and I wince hoping I didn't wake up any of the other patients sleeping in the dark infirmary.

My black Ipod rests on the small table beside me and I reach out towards it. It was a present from Calypso for my birthday and I've kept it with me ever since. I think back on the events of that night how everybody was laughing and joking around. The table was piled high with assorted chips and pizza types and there was ice cream(some lactose free for Frank)cookies, and brownies on another table nearby.

All my closest friends and a few other friends and siblings from camp had showed up. Of course this included the seven. Jason, Piper, Hazel, Frank, Percy, and Annabeth. Reyna, Will, Calypso and Nico were there too. Although Reyna and Nico weren't trying to mingle that much.

Once most of the people left we started opening presents

I got a fireproof suit from Jason and Piper so I wouldn't have to worry anymore about burning my clothes off while working on another machine.

A new, Hephaestus made, power drill with my name on it from Hazel and Frank that could do many different jobs with a single word.

I got a joker's manual from Annabeth and a "how to be a flame thrower" kit from Percy.

Reyna got me a new sword that was also equipped with different, hidden, tools.

Will and Nico had gotten me an assortment of Mythomagic figurines since I liked to play it with them, a lot. Nico and Will weren't officially a couple yet but they were hinting that they might become one and I'm pretty sure they went shopping for my gift together.

Finally Calypso gave me her gift. It was a small box wrapped perfectly in red paper. Like all my other gifts I didn't give the wrapping paper a chance and tore into the present instead of opening it neatly. I could feel, yes feel, Calypso rolling her eyes next to me as she watched me open it. In front of me was a new, black, shiny, ipod. Calypso looked at me trying to gage how I felt about my present. Then I grinned and said, "Guys...this is an unofficial request for a dance party!" The others groaned but didn't stop me from playing the music. The rest of the night was amazing although Chiron eventually came and told us we had go to bed since it was past curfew.

Now a few months later, sitting in my area in the infirmary I couldn't help but put in my earbuds and listen to one of my favorite songs. Mouthing out the lyrics to Gary Jules' "Mad World" as it started.

 _ **All around me are familiar faces**_

If the faces are so familiar why do I feel so out of place?

 _ **Worn out places, worn out faces**_

 _ **Bright and early for their daily races**_

 _ **Going nowhere, going nowhere**_

 _ **Their tears are filling up their glasses**_

 _ **No expression, no expression**_

 _ **Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow**_

Why can't you guys just leave me alone so I can mourn my mother's loss in peace? Why do you try so hard to get me to talk?

 _ **No tomorrow, no tomorrow**_

 _ **And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad**_

 _ **The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had**_

Mami, if I die...will you be mad at me for dying too early?

 _ **I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take**_

I wish the seven would just leave me alone. I don't want to...I mean...I can't tell them. Why won't they just leave me be? They can't fix the fact that I hate myself with everything I have and I wish I could've saved my mother...that I had been the one to die...not her.

 _ **When people run in circles it's a very very**_

 _ **Mad world mad world**_

 _ **Children waiting for the day they feel good**_

 _ **Happy birthday, happy birthday**_

I keep on hinting at all these tools and things I want for my birthday but really mami, I just want to see you.

 _ **Made to feel the way that every child should**_

 _ **Sit and listen, sit and listen**_

I don't want to listen to you tell me everything's okay. Nothing's okay anymore! My mummy's dead and I killed her. I am a murderer. Why are you telling me it's all gonna be okay that everything is perfectly fine?

 _ **Went to school and I was very nervous**_

 _ **No one knew me, no one knew me**_

 _ **Hello teacher, tell me what's my lesson**_

I just need someone who can explain life to me. Explain why I didn't die along with my mami. Why the world is so cruel and mean and full of hate.

 _ **Look right through me, look right through me**_

 _ **And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad**_

 _ **The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had**_

 _ **I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take**_

 _ **When people run in circles it's a very very**_

 _ **Mad world, mad world**_

 _ **Enlarge your world**_

 _ **Mad world**_

I don't know when these tears started making their way down my face or when my eyes shut themselves to hide from the outside world but it happened and I wish that this was my life. Where I could completely shut out the darkness and just hide from people and everything else...but I can't.

But my gods...

 **I wish I could.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 -** **The Chapter Where Leo isn't Completely Depressed**

 **Leo's POV**

It's today.

Oh gods...it's here.

Zeus help us(wait, Zeus would never help us).

Camp Halfblood picture day.

Yes, in a camp full of demigods who fight battles and save the world there is a day devoted to taking pictures.

Solo pictures, and small-group pictures, and the most dreaded one, the whole picture.

As in every single demigod in Camp Halfblood is in ONE photo. This year Chiron invited Camp Jupiter to join us...oh joy!

Just imagine it. A bunch of, mostly ADHD, demigods, forced to stand around in a small place, taking pictures, for hours. And I mean hours. Last year it took 4 hours to get everything in order so we could actually take the dam picture.

Then to make that picture even more pleasant they take it by a lake. And do you know who has power over water? Yeah, Percy Jackson, one of the biggest doofuses around.

So by the end of the day we are all irritated, half dry(courtesy of me for taking off some of the water)half wet(but not all of it), and we still haven't taken the dam picture that put us in this shitty situation in the first place.

So yeah, it's a lot of fun!

And the person who actually enjoys this, cough *Percy* cough, convinced them to let me out of the infirmary a day early so I could participate in this tradition.

 **6 hours later**

So right now the camera people and I are the only ones who are still completely dry, along with Percy and Annabeth because he can choose if he gets wet or not. And I guess he didn't want to face the wrath of Annabeth if he got her wet so….

"FINAL SHOT!"

Thank the gods.

We shuffle around till we are in a somewhat normal picture formation so we can take the last picture and go back to our cabins.

He takes the picture and I quickly pull my friends and any little kids I see out of the big group of demigods because I know what's coming next.

3.

2.

1.

"STAMPEDE!"

Hundreds of demigods, from 2 different camps, all running in the same direction, in one big group. Yeah, not the smartest idea. My grin gets bigger as one person trips and then everyone is falling. Until there is only one person standing and someone grabs his foot and pulls him down.

Then rather calmly, we take our small group and walk past the bigger group with straight faces...till we get about 5 feet away. Then we can't contain our laughter anymore. I'm sure we look like drunks, staggering around, laughing like maniacs.

I'm laughing so hard that little flames start to dance across my nose making us laugh even harder.

Jason walks towards me, stumbling and doubled over with laughter. His hand outstretched. Reaching out to touch me. We make contact and I flinch. He reminded me too much of my foster father when he reached out to me like that. I try to cover it up with laughter but he saw.

"Leo, are you okay?" His eyes search mine looking for an answer, but I make them look blank while keeping the grin on my face. His question attracts the attention of my other friends. Thankfully the little kids are too far ahead of us to hear anything.

"Yeah, never been better! Race you to the dining pavilion!" I turn and run, Leaving the protests of my friends far behind me. I'm not off the hook and I know it but at least I bought myself some time.

* * *

Piper's POV

"Are you okay?" The rest of the seven look over at Jason and Leo. I swear Percy gave himself whiplash.

I look at Leo's face, trying to read it, but I can't. His eyes are blank, lifeless. Yet he is still wearing his trademark grin.

"Yeah, never been better! Race you to the dining pavilion!" He turns and runs leaving us in the dust. Our protests of "Leo!" Lost in the air.

We all share a look then we turn and run after him.

He is not okay and we are going to find out why.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.*shrinks away from angry readers* sorry it's been so long since I updated, but I finally have chapter 5! Also I'm introducing some new characters to the story, enjoy!**

Leo's Pov.

It's been 3 days since Camp Halfblood/Jupiter picture day.

Three days of hiding in the bunker,

Three days of avoiding my friends,

Three days in hiding, no contact with anyone. And the effects of it are showing, I haven't spoken a single word since I went into hiding, I've gotten skinnier because without anybody telling me to take a break from building and take the time to eat I haven't eaten much.

Nobody has been able to open the doors to bunker 9, and believe me, they've tried. I don't know what they find so interesting about me that they'd miss me so much but they must miss me, or something because someone is constantly on the otherside of that door trying to get in.

I'm slightly impressed by their attempts to get inside. Honestly I think their first attempts were the best...

*flashback*

Branches brush across my arms constantly as I stumble over rocks and tree roots in my haste to get away from my friends. I pray to all the gods I know,scratch that, all the gods I know that like me, or at least put up with me, that Daisy or Lillian(Lily) are around here somewhere.

I bite back a shriek as Lily's pale white hand darts out and pulls me into the nearby bushes. The rest of the seven quickly running past me.

Lily and Daisy are nymphs that I befriended earlier this year, and they have been there for me through most of my break downs, along with my other friend Brook.

Lily puts a pale, delicate finger to her lips and leads me towards Brook's well, brook. That's where we usually meet up, sometimes just to talk and other times to help each other.

When we get there Daisy has already arrived and is talking to a very bubbly Brook.

Sensing my presence they turn and look at me, stopping their conversation to assess my current state of being.

Brook motions for me to come over and step in the water, I do, and using her power over water she quickly heals the scratches and cuts littering my arms and legs. Daisy and Lily do their part as they quickly make a wall of sorts out of flowers.

I've tried to help them multiple times but they will have none of it, they say they like having me around and insist that they don't need any help, so I watch quietly from my spot in the grass as they do all of this.

Daisy, being the caring person that she is comes and sits beside me and pulls me into a soft embrace. Lily and Brook soon join us, as we form a circle of sorts. They look at me, patiently waiting for an explanation.

"M-my friends are, um trying to f-find me because they think s-something's wrong." I stutter and my voice is hoarse from my lack of speech the past few days.

Daisy looks closer at me and says, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, I just-I mean-I don't want to talk about it." She watches me for a few minutes more then sighs.

"Well, how can we help you Leo?"

"I-I just need to get to the bunker without anyone seeing me." Lily and Daisy nod to each other, grabbing one of my hands each and leading me away towards the bunker, I wave goodbye to brook as we go. They use their nature skills to hide me from the others, reaching the edge of the woods near the bunker, they turn to me to say goodbye as they can't go very far from the forest. I hug and thank each of them before they head back into the forest.

I ignite my hand and press it up against the stone door, grinning as it slides smoothly and quietly out of my way.

-5 hours later-

I can hear them yeling outside of the bunker.

"OK JASON THIS IS IT, GRAB ONE END AND I'LL GRAB THE OTHER"Percy yells

I jumped as they rammed something into the stone door, a battering ram of sorts.

-10 minutes later-

"I DON'T THINK IT'S WORKING" Percy shouts. I can hear Annabeth snort, and I chuckle to myself as I hear them start to make new plans to get into the bunker.

They're not going to get in unless I want them to, and I don't want them to. They'll be able to tell something's wrong, I can't let that happen, not now, not ever.

*end flashback*

So now, here I am. Observing another failed attempt to try and get in from a small window in the bunker. By now I think they've got the whole camp trying to get in, and unless the gods decide to join the cause they're not going to get in here anytime soon.

Annabeth catches a glimps of my face in the window and points me out to the others. I quickly duck out of sight and try to calm my uneven breathing. How did I let it get to this? What's going to happen when they finally get in here? How am I going to answer their question as to if I'm okay or not? I shrink back against the wall crying, I can't do this anymore.

I start to hyperventilate. I haven't had one of these in awhile. A panic attack. Looks like they'll be getting in sooner than I thought.

I crawl over to the door and ignite my hand, breaking the seal and watching as the door opens quietly and smoothly to reveal everyone standing there, watching me.

I say the first 3 words that I have said to anyone from camp in 3 days,

"help. panic. attack."

 ***smirks* Don't you guys just love cliffhangers**


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N. I'm so sorry guys, it's been forever since I updated any of my stories**

 **Hazel's POV.**

It was only me in the infirmary. Somehow in the hour since Leo had been admitted and, thanks to Nico, had been put under Will's care, everyone had found a reason to be gone.

Maybe it was because nobody wanted to acknowledge how much the little joker boy had changed since we'd first met him. Or at least, how much we'd been missing. It seemed until now we hadn't fully processed how bad things had become. The bags under his eyes, the fact that when I rushed in there to lift him up from where he was lying I could feel his ribs through his shirt. The fact that I was able to even lift him up should have been warning enough but the actual warning that we needed to do something and quickly was the fact that he felt the need to hide from us for 3 days and that the only reason he came out was because of a panic attack….a panic attack.

And now, now I can see him there lying on that stiff bed. An assortment of medical instruments lying around him and a monitor clip on his finger. Even though the green spikes on the screen show me he's alive and breathing I can't shake the feeling that something's terribly wrong with him. He's not okay.

The curtain to the right of me glides open and I wince at how loud the little metal curtain rings are in the small place. I look up at Will and I can see in his eyes everything that I'm feeling. Confusion, sadness, anger, a mix of emotions. He looked at me sadly.

"No change." He said it as if he already knew that. How could he summarize all the time I'd spent worrying over Leo for the past hour in two words? No change.

Yet everything had changed. Leo wasn't the guy we thought he was. It's as if everything I'd ever known about Sam-Leo was false. And yet, I couldn't find it in myself to be angry at Leo, yet I was so ready to get mad at Will and demand he do something more.

 _MY FRIEND IS LYING THERE SO LIFELESS! WHY WON'T ANYONE DO SOMETHING?! WHERE IS EVERYBODY WHEN LEO NEEDS US MOST?!_

I settled for screaming inside my head, because even though the others had notice right away, neither had I.

"No change." He frowned sadly and sat down beside me with a sigh, burying his head in his hands.

"Gods Leo…." And that was it. Our joker boy was lying still in the bed in front of us. A machine by his side to show us that he was still breathing, that he wasn't dead yet. That he was still breathing. It showed us that everything on the outside was fine but there was no machine that could tell us if Leo was fine on the inside. For all we know, he could be dead.

 **A.N. sorry this is so short, from here on out I'll try to make the chapters longer.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Leo's POV**.

 **A.N. *Warning* some bad language.**

Okay, if waking up with a migraine is going to become routine I'd rather not wake up. And who the fuck decided to turn on the sun this morning! Like seriously Apollo, could you like not power the sun this morning or whatever the heck you call that. Almost instantaneously my headache became worse, I didn't know that was even possible.

"Okay okay, jeez I'm sorry Lord Apollo. I didn't mean it, but could you at least dim the sun slightly?" I muttered as my headache went back to before, which meant it still hurt like hell.

"That's the light idiot, not the sun." I looked up, Will was getting up from the stiff chair. To the left of him Hazel started to get up as well. She looked, relieved?

"Oh...well then, can you turn it off? I swear it's doing some serious shi-" I paused when Hazel growled at me. Yes growled. "I mean uhm I have a headache and the light's a bit too bright um for my liking.." She smiled and nodded slightly at me.

"Yeah sure…" Gods this is awkward. It's like they were scared anything could upset me, like I was a thin piece of glass just waiting to shatter.

"So uh where are the others?" At this the both blushed slightly and avoided my gaze, their faces held guilt and something bad welled up inside me. "...they didn't want to come, did they?" Hazel shook her head frantically and spoke up quietly.

"No, they were here earlier but they had to go take care of some things…" Oh, I see. Either they were too scared to talk to me or they'd decided that whatever they had to do was more important than me. It's not like I disagree with them I just thought that maybe for once in my life since my mother had died...since I had killed her, that maybe people would care enough to be there for me.

I nodded, "That's okay, I understand. What they're doing is important I can't bother them right now."

"No, that's not what I meant, I-"

Jason slips through the curtains and turns to Hazel and Will, "Hi guys!" He lowers his voice, "How's Leo doing? I can't believe all this happened, how could we not notice?.." I clear my throat.

"Superman it's really rude to talk about someone as if they're not there."

"Sorry Leo, I didn't mean to-WAIT, YOU'RE AWAKE!"

"Shush! It seems you've forgotten Grace, but this place is an infirmary. As much as I care about all of you, you still aren't the only patients here so lower your voice!"

Jason rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, "Sorry Will." He smiles and turns back to me, all excited again. "You're awake! We were so worried like oh my gosh it's only been an hour but I have so much gossip for you--" I smile a genuine smile as he rambles on, it's kind of hard to be annoyed with Jason. He takes a breath during his little rant and I use this opportunity to speak up.

"Yo lightning wielder, I enjoy all the gossip but at the moment I have a massive migraine. So if you could like talk a bit quieter and maybe tone down the brightness of your teeth a bit. That would help." He frowns slightly and nods but doesn't lose that excited look in his eyes.

"Yeah man, sure." He shifts a bit nervously and does this little awkward back and forth dance before finally settling down in the chair directly beside my bed. "So uh, how are you doing?"

"Great! I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up my friend. No stupid panic attack is gonna phase me. I'm Leo Valdez Supreme! I will not be taken down that easily!" Once again I've gone back to joking and hiding behind a smile. There's a line between real me and fake me, a line that's blurred to everyone but me. They don't realize they're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface of the water hides a much larger chunk of me that they don't see and that I will never completely reveal to them.

It doesn't come as a surprise when Jason nods and smiles, "That's great! I'm gonna go tell the others you're awake, they'll be so happy," he exclaimed. Funny, I don't quite think they'd be that happy.

5 seconds later he's already sprinting out the door with a hurried goodbye and a promise to be back soon. Then in the corner I see a little shadow move and for just a split second I can make out the pale face of Nico Di Angelo. The rest of his body engulfed in shadows, but his eyes. His eyes are piercing me and I know that Nico can see through my mask. And that terrifies me.

 **A.N. Double update, y'all deserved it after waiting so long**


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N**. _Italicized_ words are Leo's thoughts. **Bold** words are the voice in his head.

 **Leo's POV**.

...And I thought being in a room with Will, Hazel, and Nico was awkward. It's like I'm facing a whole army. Although they're not very energetic, this is honestly the saddest army I've ever seen.

Chiron looks like he's aged 10 years since I last saw him and a feeling of guilt wells up inside me. Beside him, to my shock, is Reyna. Sitting perfectly straight in the stiff wooden seat trying to ignore the Stoll twins who are the only ones who almost seem like their normal selves. Annabeth is curled up against Percy's side and Piper is sitting on Jason's lap. On the other side of the room Hazel is sitting next to Frank holding his hand while Nico and Will are sitting beside them blushing slightly. And they're all staring at me.

 **They all pity you.**

"What?"

"...We didn't say anything Leo. Are you okay?" Hazel asks me but I can't focus on her question, the voice is back.

 **Wow took ya long enough to figure that out, you're a smart one huh?**

 _Whatever...what are you doing back here anyways?_

 **Are you actually stupid? Ha ha, did you think I wasn't coming back? I always come back and I always will come back. And my purpose here? Is to tell you the truth about yourself because your "friends" aren't doing a good enough job about that.**

 _Great…_

 **The sarcasm is very much appreciated.**

"--a system to make sure you're okay."

Wait what?

"Wait what? No. I'm ok." They all stare at me, even the stoll brothers join in in giving me an Annabeth-worthy glare that says **don't even try, we know you are not okay.**

Reyna speaks up, "Leo stop with the bull shit. I don't even know you that well yet but even I know you're not okay. We all care about you," she gestures to all the people around her, "We want to do everything to make you truly happy again."

Happy? Happy was when my mom was still here. Happy was before I was 8 years old. Happy was before I found out I was a demigod. Happy was when I was 3 years old and curled up in my mom's lap in our small 2 bedroom apartment.

Happy is surreal.

 **You don't deserve happiness. You are nothing.**

And suddenly the pounding in my head is back and I can hear their voices all muffled and blended together.

"...Nico 1st shift….Will to make sure you eat….

 **You are nothing.**

...Jason 4th shift…Reyna 5th shift...counseling…

 **You are nothing.**

….starts right now….make sure to talk...here to help you…

 **You are NOTHING.**

….lunch time let's go….Nico with you first."

 **YOU ARE NOTHING.**

"Leo!" My head snapped up to look at them.

"Yes?"

"Let's go. Lunch remember? Nico has first shift." I nod and allow myself to be led out of the room. The voice won't go away….why can't it go away?

 **~5 minute time skip brought to you by Underworld Productions Studio~**

"Are you gonna stare at me the whole time?" I whisper as I look up once again to catch Nico staring at me. He grabs my arm and I stiffen under his grip as his cold hands send a shiver up my spine.

"Come on repair boy. We need to have a little conversation, yea." He leads me out of the dining pavilion and towards his cabin constant shadow darkening my face. Then we're up the stairs and I join the short list of people who have ever been inside the Hades cabin.

There's no vampire coffin beds or human skulls decorating the room like the rumors said. Instead he 5 standard beds with green blankets and pillows with black pillow cases. To the far right was a fireplace and further along in the cabin was the opening to what I assumed was the bathroom then another two that were probably the head campers room and another one that was most likely a small kitchen.

"Take a seat Valdez." I sit down in one of the arm chairs next to the fireplace and stare down at my hands.

"Look at me." I look up and his eyes pierce into my own making me shiver once again even though most would think that impossible for a fire user.

"I-I I'm okay." He raises his eyebrow.

"Do I scare you?" I shake my head.

"N-no."

"Good." He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. "So tell me." He leans forward. "Do you hear the voice in your head too?"


	9. Chapter 9

**3rd person POV.**

Hazel and Piper burst into Percy's cabin where most of the seven and the counselors were gathered.

"Where's Leo?! We can't find him or Nico and Will is frantic with worry." They all immediately jumped to attention.

Nico and Leo were like the little brothers of the group. Everyone loved and protected them as if they were part of their family. Which in a sense they kind of were one big family. So when anyone messed with them they got their full wrath. And for both of them to be missing, well that just fueled their worry and concern even more.

Percy quickly stood up and with the others following close behind walked swiftly out the door.

 **~3 hours later-dinner time~**

 **Nico's POV.**

Leo and I strolled into the dining pavilion discussing the various mythomagic cards.

Leo undoubtedly stated that Hephaestus's card was greater than Hades card while I had to very strongly disagree.

"My dad's card is definitely better. I mean having shadow traveling abilities is way better than fire resistance."

Leo scoffed as we headed towards my table in the corner of the dining pavilion. "He won't be able to shadow travel if he's burning to death. And what happens if there are no shadows?"

I rolled my eyes, " _Idiota_ , he'd be able to shadow travel away from the fire. Plus if you think about it your dad's fire powers would be fueling my dad's shadow traveling powers since fire creates shadows."

Someone cleared their throat behind us and we turned to see all the campers staring at us. With Chiron only a few feet away from us.

"This sounds like a wonderful conversation you're having here but if it could wait until after I say a few things that would be great." We both nodded and stopped talking. I think my cheeks are trying to impersonate a tomato.

I shot Leo a quick glance as Chiron walked back up to his normal seat and could see the faint hint of a smile dancing across his face. I gave my own weak attempt at a smile and it must have been fairly impressing since his eyes widened comically and his jaw literally dropped.

I rolled my eyes and nudged him with my elbow as Chiron started speaking.

"Hello, demi girls and boys. For the new campers who arrived this week my name is Chiron and I was the one who originally trained all the famous greek heroes. Our evening activities for today are…." I zoned out not paying attention to what he was saying and from the corner of my eye I could see Leo playing with some pipe cleaners.

Thankfully Chiron finished his speech, no offence to him or anything I was just really really hungry. I went through the line with Leo and we spent the rest of the time eating together. Then I noticed how much quieter the dining room was than most days.

No Annabeth giving random facts, No Frank amusing us with his shape shifting forms, and no seaweed brain to do something stupid.

Leo jumped out of his seat as the door to the building slammed open and a worried Percy stood there along with the rest of the seven and some counselors. I gulped as I saw Will among them.

We're screwed.

"THERE YOU ARE!!! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Leo and I looked at each other and came to a mutual agreement not to tell anyone else about what we talked about last night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Nico's POV.**

 _Entry date: January 4, 2008_

 _I see the world through masks_

 _I can see the faces_

 _That are trying so hard to blend in_

 _But they know that they can't truly ever fit in_

 _He can see them too…_

 _Broken faces_

 _So many ways to hold these masks together_

 _He holds his mask together with smiles_

 _And jokes_

 _And laughter_

 _And I hold mine together by keeping them away_

 _Keeping away the things that could break my mask_

 _So I glare at them and constantly move from place to place._

 _It takes more muscles to frown_

 _Instead of smile_

 _But the constant effort keeps me on my guard_

 _So that I try harder_

 _But masks_

 _Don't always hold_

 _Sometimes they break_

 _And you have to remake the mold_

 _And sometimes they wear down_

 _And it becomes easier to cry_

 _Instead of frown_

 _But NO._

 _I can't afford to let my guard down_

I think Leo found the crack in my mask, and he's slowly peeling it away. Just as I am doing to his.

- _Nico_

After a long lecture about how we had to keep them informed about our locations and another rant from Percy about how worried he was we were finally let go. Well, I was let go. Leo went off somewhere under the supervision of a still very worried Percy.

And my release wasn't without complicat

ions either. Will insisted on coming with me back to my cabin and lecturing me all the way there basically saying what the others had already said, and he was still at it.

"Okay, I get it Will. I won't leave without telling you again." Gosh, the one time I actually choose to spend time with someone I get in trouble.

Will kept talking and I drowned him out thinking about the time I'd spent with Leo.

 ***flashback***

"Take a seat Valdez." I sit down in one of the arm chairs next to the fireplace and watch him. He plays with his hands avoiding my eyes. Hmmmm, is he scared of me?

"Look at me."

"I-I I'm okay." I raised my eyebrow. Why was he stuttering?

"Do I scare you?" He shook his head.

"N-no." I mentally sigh, he's still stuttering and he's a terrible liar. Oh well, I guess I can address it later.

"Good." I lean back in my chair and cross my arms. "So tell me." I lean forward staring at him intently. "Do you hear the voice in your head too?"

His eyes widen and his expression is one of disbelief but then he goes back to normal. Or at least what he lets us see as normal. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I frown. So this is how it's gonna be. Okay then, I can work with this. "Hmmm interesting. So you just suddenly started having conversations with yourself. You stopped saying as much out loud and you hesitate every time you are about to do something that will help you. As if there's something in your head telling you not to." I lean back in my chair again and stare intently into the fire. "Don't think I haven't been watching you Valdez."

He looks agitated and I see the flames in my fireplace become darker shades of red and orange and a glaring blue flame starts at the base of the fire. "The voice isn't there all the time-" He stops realizing what he just said and I grin slightly at his confession.

"It's okay Leo. I'm here to help you okay, I know how hard it its. Asher has been here ever since Bianca died when I was a little boy."

He blinks. Are those tears? I'm not good at comforting people but I'm gonna help Leo break his mask or at least get him to trust me enough to take it off around me. "Asher?"

I wince, "Yeah, the name of the voice in my uh head." I gesture towards my head and he nods.

"M-mine's name is Devon." I nod and awkward silence settles over everything till Leo speaks up.

"S-so Nico I heard you like to play Mythomagic." Leo finally looks me in the eyes and I look at him apprehensively. Is he gonna make fun of me? He grins, "I bet I could beat you at it. "

I smirk almost evilly, "Yeah right, I'm mythomagic champ. You don't stand a chance."

 ***end flashback***

Will was still talking unaware of my lack of attention to his words. I mentally sighed and waited for him to finish speaking.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N. Short** **, sorry**

 **Leo's POV.**

For the past few days I've taken to sitting at the Hades table with Nico during meals and have started spending most of my free time with him. I still build things but now I have company while I build my things. And yes, Nico still spends time with Will, I mean he is still Nico's boyfriend but since Will is in the infirmary a lot Nico hangs out with me.

Today though I haven't been up to doing anything. I feel dull, sad, tired. I know one thing though. I don't want to be around people. That's why, at the moment I am currently heading into the woods. Alone.

I know what you're thinking. "No! You idiot! You're not supposed to go in the woods alone!" Yea, I know that but I have friends in the woods and I have weapons with me...and if the worst comes to the worst I can always use my fire.

Thankfully, for the first time in my life I actually have good luck and no monster creature decides to attack me.

"Hi Brooke. Hi Daisy. Hi Lilly."

"Hi Leo." The area is already set up and I sit on the ground facing Brooke's brook, bringing my knees up to meet my chest and resting my head on my knees.

"Leo? Are you okay?" Lilly asks me and I just shake my head leaning up against Daisy as she starts playing with my hair from behind me. As I doze off I can hear their concerned voices in the distance.

 **~Some hours later~**

After my nap I talked with the girls for awhile before heading back to bunker 9 with a promise that I'd come back and visit them soon.

The dinner bell rings and I add a few more touches to my project before wiping my hands on the dirty towel on my work table and heading off to dinner.

Honestly, I should have known they'd be worried. What with not seeing me all day and me skipping all the camp activities. That's why it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me when they all came and sat next to me during dinner and just stared. It was kind of unnerving to be honest.

"Yes?" I was slightly impressed, I mean Percy hadn't even yelled at me yet. That's an improvement. Although the silence was kind of unsettling.

"Can I help you guys?" They just stared at me until finally Nico spoke up.

"My cabin. After dinner. All of you." I just stared...he looks pissed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Leo's POV.**

Turns out when nico said all of us had to be there it meant that all of them had to escort me there but they could leave after they finished yelling at me. Which didn't take too long since they'd already said this stuff multiple times before.

 _Tell us where you're going._

 _We worry about you._

 _Tell us when something's wrong Leo. We Care!_

Same old stuff every single time. Same old outcome every time too. I don't tell them anything. I know, they're my friends, I should trust them but at the same time their lives are actually going pretty okay for once. No world-saving quests they have to go on or anything. And I don't want to ruin that, they deserve to be happy, and if that means I'm not then I can deal with that. I mean, I've done that most of my life.

Anyways I am currently sitting in the chair I sat in last time, right up close to the fire and way too close for comfort to an angry Nico.

"Soooo…."

He just glared at me and drummed his fingers on the table. Why's he so angry? I mean I leave for like 12 hours and he gets mad at me. I gulp nervously and decide to just ask him. "Why are you so mad at me?"

"Why am I mad?! WHY AM I MAD?!! LEO I FINALLY DECIDED TO TALK TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN WILL, TO OPEN UP TO THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY DIDN'T OPEN UP TO ME! I TRIED MY BEST TO BE A GOOD FRIEND AND BE THERE FOR YOU BUT THEN YOU JUST UP AND DISAPPEAR WITHOUT TEllING ME. I MEAN YOU DIDN'T TELL THE OTHERS EITHER BUT….but I thought you'd at least tell me what was wrong...I thought you'd started to trust me."

His voice wobbles and I hide my shock. Nico never cries, he never lets anyone see when he's upset. He never even seems to get upset but Will can tell when he is and I'm starting to be able to tell when he's upset. But this, this is different. This is him letting his wall down, letting himself be vulnerable. So I do something I've never seen anyone but Will and Hazel do to him.

I hug him.

"I'm sorry Nico...I, I just needed some time away from people. I should have talked to you though, at least let you know where I was. I didn't and I'm sorry…." He gently moves away from me, anyone else might have taken offense to that but he's Nico and he doesn't like people touching him. And he has a boyfriend.

"It's okay Leo. Just tell me next time, okay?" I nod and we both settle back in our chairs. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before finally saying something, "Do you want to talk about it?" I almost say no but then I remember what he said earlier, he opened up to me. Now it's time for me to open up to him.

 **Nico's POV.**

"It's okay Leo. Just tell me next time, okay?" He nods and I debate asking him or not. Well, I guess it's worth a shot, I'm really worried about him...I know how hard it is. "Do you want to talk about it?" I can see the no forming on his lips but he surprises me and says yes.

"Did...did anything trigger it?"

He shakes his head, "I don't think so. Unless it was some nightmare I don't remember. I just woke up this morning and it was one of those days, ya know?" He smiles sadly and fiddles with some pipe cleaners.

"Yea, I know...so what happened? Where'd you go?"

He grabs a few more things from his tool belt before sighing and looking up, "I woke up and I felt really...depressed I guess? I didn't want to be around people who were constantly gonna ask if I was okay and I...I didn't feel like putting on a mask so I grabbed my tool belt and I left. I went into the woods and that's where I was all that time."

I frowned, "You went into the woods alone?"

"I wasn't alone." I raised my eyebrow but he continued, "I was with my friends. They're nymphs/dryads and their names are Daisy, Lilly, and Brooke." He met my eyes and for once his smile actually reached his own eyes. "Would you like to meet them?"

I for one know that most nymphs/dryads don't like me and probably never will because I radiate death. If I wanted to I could kill them just by killing their plant source. So it makes sense why they wouldn't like me but the genuine look of happiness on his face was enough to make me give in. "Sure."


	13. Chapter 13

**Leo's Pov**

Nico was getting along great with the nymphs much to my surprise. At first he had been a bit more reserved and self conscious but now he seemed more relaxed as he laughed and talked with them.

Their open welcome to Nico and their growing infatuation with him made me confident that bringing Nico to my favorite hiding spot had been the right thing.

Although now I am relatively sure that if I come back here next time without the little king of death in tow I will be reprimanded for it.

Lily speaks up suddenly, "It's getting dark, you two should start headin back to camp. I look forward to seeing you again Nico." She smiles and disappears back into the forest.

Brooke smiles and follows Lily's lead, "It is getting late, see you later guys. It was a pleasure meeting you Nico!" She giggles and disappears back into her brooke.

Daisy smiles softly and hugs Nico much to his surprise then disappears back into the forest without saying a word.

Nico and Leo stand there for a few moments longer relishing the peacefulness that the place brings before starting their walk back to camp.

"They are so nice. For once I actually enjoyed being around someone other than Will or you or the seven and Reyna. I understand though that that's your place to escape and not mine. If you want me to come back again just ask and I will and if you don't I'll stay in camp."

Leo glances over at him incredulously, "Of course I want you to come back! They loved you and I could see you loved being there too. It'll be nice to have you there and I would never think of forbidding you to come back. Sometimes yea, I'll want to go by myself but I assure you when I want someone to come with me you'll be the person I choose, okay?"

Nico nods, a small smile gracing his features, "Okay."

 **~time skip brought to you by Canonships Enterprises~**

They get back to camp a little bit later and Leo waves goodbye to Nico as he heads for his cabin and Nico goes off to his own.

Leo slips into the Hephaestus cabin the rest of his siblings still at the campfire. Using the buttons by his bed he disappears into his underground room stretching out on the small couch down there. He grabs his ipod and puts on his headphones losing himself in the music.

Nico goes into his cabin texting Will asking him to come over.

Minutes later there's a soft knock door and he pulls it open to see Will Solace himself standing there. He smiles and gestures for Will to come in to which he happily obliges.

The door closes and Will hugs him and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips. "I haven't seen you for awhile, what have you been up to?"

Nico kisses him back before answering his question. "I was with Leo again we went to...I'm sorry, I can't tell you where we went because it's his secret place but I think he's feeling better now than he was before. He's a good friend."

Will smiles not feeling jealous in the slightest. "I'm so happy you're making more friends, you've been doing so great, I'm so proud of you! Maybe we could celebrate by going on a date?"

Nico grins and answers him, "Thank you and of course yes I'll go on a date with you. Did you say all of that just to get me to go on a date with you?"

Will pulls Nico close to him, "Maaaaybe...", his expression gets slightly more serious, "but I meant all of it. I am very proud of you and happy for you."

Nico smiles and thanks him again. They pull apart each getting their own things to do together. Meaning Nico grabs his journal and starts writing in it and Will fills out reports for patients he had that day but Will is propped up against the head of the bed with Nico leaning against him as they work. Simply being productive but enjoying each other's presence.

Nico smiles to himself thankful to have so many good people in his life. He grabs his notebook and writes down a header.

 **Things I'm Thankful for:**

 ***note to self: add to this everyday***

 **1)Will**

 **2)my friends(especially Will, Leo, and Jason)**

 **3)**


End file.
